Living with Confidence is one of the ultimate goals that leads to happiness, but no one seems to know the formula for developing confidence. I believe that every quest for understanding should start with the answers that can be found in the Bible. More often than not these “answers” will solve all of your dilemmas. My quest for confidence began with my battle against my number one demon: loneliness or isolation. I do not have a shortage of people that I know but without a car, I am often stuck at home when I am not at work. I often battle the loneliness monster, but by following the 5 steps below I have begun to accept me for me and lead a life filled with confidence in God and in myself.
1. Find it in the Bible: “Confidence”
Psalm 118:6-“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”
Psalm 118:8- “It is better to trust in the Lord, than to put confidence in man.”
Proverbs 3:26- “For the Lord will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being caught.”
When I feel threatened by an experience that has left me feeling under confident I always remember Romans 8:31- “…If God is for us, who can be against us?
2. Write it or Keep a Journal:
List all the things that make you feel bad about yourself or under confident.
Get those ugly, self-defeating thoughts out of your head and on paper. I have always found writing to be very therapeutic. I write down self-defeating or mean thoughts on loose leaf paper, and then I tear up the paper because I do not need such sentiments in my life. If you don’t feel like tearing up those feelings just yet, then keep them in a journal. Do not let them stay in your head with no outlet, and poison your every thought!
3. Create a goals list:
How can you determine where you are if you do not know where you are going? Creating my goals list was the foundation that helped me find this path to happiness and contentment. My goals began like this: Lifetime goals: What legacy do I want to leave behind? I want to be an inspiration to those around me and lead others to feel the contentment that I feel, and Personal happiness-living a life filled with adventure and Godliness. I broke down my larger lifetime goals into some smaller more manageable goals that would set me on a road to reach my lifetime goals. I have them set into 1 year, 3 year, and 5 year increments. I, then, broke those goals into even smaller goals that I could manage on a month to month, week to week, and day to day basis. I call the day to day goals my “action goals.” They are goals that I can use every day to reach my ultimate goals or lifetime goals.
4. Dress your best:
Everyone should live everyday like they are someone special: from top of your head to the soles of your feet. Your outward appearance should be an expression of who you are! I love blue and glitter fingernail polishes, crazy hats, bandanas, and crazy/interesting outfits like tights under my shorts! One of my passions is Fashion Design, if you couldn’t tell. Your clothes should be an expression of you are! Never be ashamed of who you are! Dressing the way that makes you feel like you is an expression of confidence.
5. Cultivate some Hobbies:
Everyone should have a passion whether it be reading, writing, the arts (painting, drawing etc…), or even, yes, blogging! The key to escaping the drudgery of everyday life is to have something you can devote yourself too without spending money. In today’s economic climate, most people can’t afford retail therapy or eating out with a friend to vent their feelings every time they are upset. It is also healthier to be able to work through your problems in a calm place without outside interference. Sometimes, even a friend’s advice may not be as astute to problem solving as you might think. Retail therapy can lead to financial ruin if you have no self-control. Find something that you are passionate about and start doing it today!
In conclusion, take ACTION now! Do not sit there passively reading this blog and think about making your goal’s list tomorrow. Your changed life begins now! You found this blog for a reason! Confidence is not the only issue you might be facing. Maybe you are scared, troubled, or stressed. Whatever you are facing start at step one with any problem that you might be facing and put God first. By going to the Bible first, you can rest assured that Biblical wisdom will start your problem solving on a rock-solid foundation (reference Matthew 7: 24-27).
Disclaimer: Neither God nor Biblical readings will ever ask you to do anything evil or wrong such as stealing, killing, or any other perversity. If you are having such thoughts, or thinking of hurting yourself, please, seek help from a medical or mental health professional.